Of course, this is a common concern for people new to online dating, knowing whether or not the person at the other end of the messages or video chat is actually serious about the relationship. Technology is certainly wonderful in terms of introducing potential partners, but who’s to say that person claiming to have really fallen for you isn’t parroting those exact same lines to someone else. Perhaps you’re one in a string of similar couplings, like so many little flies trapped in a (worldwide) web.
There is an important element to engaging with someone you’ve never met before online. Trust. If you set out searching for partners from a position of assuming the worst before you’ve even started, then you won’t get far. You might as well cancel your dating site membership and plan your next jaunt to your local cattlemarket nightclub. The good news is that, while relying on trust alone is a big ask, there are signs you can also check out. Get to know these and you can embark on serious internet dating with a new confidence.
Talking the talk
Language is all-important. It’s usually fairly simple to tell when someone is genuinely interested in what you have to say, as opposed to going through the motions the way they might well have been doing to someone else earlier. Signs to look out for are these. Do they recall things you’ve chatted about previously? Good. Does their conversation contain a lot of repetitive clichés? Not so good. Do they mention a particular incident you’ve never talked about? Bad. Do they call you by the wrong name? Awful.
Wanting to meet
When you make a genuine connection with someone in the online world, the next logical step is to arrange a face-to-face. The degree of planning that goes into this will say a lot about their intent. If their proposed rendezvous point is a hotel on the edge of town, alarm bells should ring. They might as well just confess they’ll be waiting for you at the bar with their wedding ring hidden away in their back pocket. On the other hand, if somewhere far more romantic is suggested, such as a restaurant where the food is to-die-for, or perhaps an invitation to a romantic countryside retreat, then it’s far more likely your online date is getting serious about you and is itching to take things to the next level.
At the initial stage of online dating, it’s all about you and that significant other you have established a rapport with. But eventually, like an old school relationship, matters are going to naturally progress to the point where you meet each other’s friends. And family. This is a telltale sign about the seriousness of your online date. If you get invited to meet their friends or flatmates then everything is coasting along nicely. Even more so when that gets extended to parents or children.